When you have decided to divorce, it can be frustrating if your spouse is unwilling. You may be tempted to go through it all alone and decide to pursue the divorce without talking to the other party. While this may be the option in some cases, it’s always best to approach your spouse and discuss the situation honestly. This is to end the marriage smoothly and save time, money, and your sanity.
Talk with Compassion
Therapists often suggest being compassionate when talking to a reluctant spouse. It is also important to recognize the possibility that there will be moments of anger, resistance, and sadness. If you’re the one announcing the divorce, be sure to explain what caused you into coming up with the decision. Lewis & Matthews, P.C. and other divorce lawyers note that it is also advisable to validate the pain and hurt that the news poses to your spouse.
Open and Honest Discussion
Apart from talking with the greatest compassion, discuss the situation as openly as possible. In most cases, an honest discussion will help a hesitant spouse understand and accept the reality. The worst thing you can do is to stay silent or surprising your spouse with divorce papers. This will only cause more negatively feelings and make your spouse feel defensive.
Give Your Spouse Some Time
When you have been contemplating the idea of divorce for quite some time, your spouse may not be on the same page. Even if your marriage is clearly on the rocks, your spouse may still be reluctant, as the news came as a surprise. Once you’ve told that you want a divorce, give your partner a time to prepare for it emotionally. Step back and allow them to process their emotions and finally, accept the news.
It is a good idea to learn about your options and divorce methods. Collaborative divorce or mediation is often the best choice, as this avoids any court hearing. If your spouse still doesn’t want a divorce, you may ask your lawyer to help you with it. Keep in mind, however, that the goal is to divorce as peacefully as possible.